I went to a funeral of an acquaintance who came from a very large family the other day and, boy, oh boy, did that funeral drag on and on.

It seemed every member of that very large family wanted to say a few words. Unfortunately, it wasn’t a few words once they got going and, although this may have been a salve for their grief, it had a disconcerting effect on those who attended because their bottoms wore out well before the service ended.

So, what’s the three beers got to do with it? Well, when it came to the porridge, quite simply, one bear said it was too hot, one found it was too cold and one reckoned it was just right!

And when it comes to funerals (or any sort of meeting, gathering or talkfest) that’s what those in control should aim for… just right is just right!

Afraid of speaking in public? Get Winston’s audio program that’s helped hundreds of people become cool, confident and convincing! More info here!

When the event is too short, people walk away scratching their heads wondering whether everything that should have been covered was covered. When it’s too long they walk away regretting they came and their bottoms reminding them of their mistake. When it’s just right they walk away happy they attended and confident they got all that they should have gotten.

No matter what the event, even the sadness of a funeral, it takes a tough taskmaster to keep things on track and on time, but it’s worth it!

A couple of hints:

Limit the number of speakers… at a funeral 3 or 4 is tops (coz, after that, the reminiscences get repetitive) and at a meeting listen to a couple “for” and a couple “against”.

Brief everybody very, very carefully and specify very firmly their time allocation in minutes (or even specify “no more than one A4 page”.

Have a clock (timer) right under their nose.

Don’t let the Chairman or celebrant waffle, make sure they know the drum. (And, if that’s you, scrupulously observe your own rules.)

Be very firm so they are in no doubt they have to stick by your rules.

The result… happy bears! A teddy bears’ picnic in fact!